Hello everyone, this is Murray's brother Donald.

I know Murray was using this journal to keep you updated on his progress.  It breaks my heart to have to write this but he sadly passed away last Friday evening.  He had been hugely strong throughout these last three years and is now at peace.

His health deteriorated quickly over the last week and he died peacefully at the Marie Curie hospice in Fairmilehead, Edinburgh with his family around him.  I know he had a lot of friends on here who gave him loads of support and for that I thank you.

I want to make sure his legacy is preserved on here and will need to work out the best way to do that.  In the meantime, I'm sure Murray would have wanted you to keep going and remember him in your own way.

We will be making funeral arrangements this week and I will share those with anyone who feels they will be able to attend (though appreciate most of you are likely outwith the UK).  Just contact me via my DA profile (donaldgroat) if you want details.

Donald

Thursday 12th July 2018

Hello there....

I got a phone call from the Cancer Clinic yesterday morning, from one of their nurses. It seems my 'Haemoglobin' levels have not changed (after they studied my blood sample taken by my GP on Tuesday). The nurse is happy that the level has not dropped, but still wishes to get another blood sample, next Tuesday via my GP (the week before my next cycle of chemotherapy treatment). If it does drop, they may give me another blood transfusion. We shall see what happens. The earlier they know, the easier it will be for the clinic/hospital to book me bags of blood for the possible transfusion.

NOTE: Previously my haemoglobin level should have been '100' but dropped to '83' during my main anemia episode. My level, since the blood transfusion had risen to '92', and now '93'.


Currently, I have been outside more, gradually, and eating more. I felt better, than I did a month ago.

Thanks for all your kind words,
Muz
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Friday 6th July 2018

Hello,
Yesterday was a bit muddled!! I shall continue...


Thursday 5th July 2018

At 11:30am I got a taxi to the the Cancer Clinic. I met the Cancer Doctor that I had the chat with about the results of my recent CT-SCAN. I quickly mentioned my current gastric 'PLUG' problem thing which had bothered me for a while. It had fantastically disappeared/moved out the night before. So my sleep positions were back to normal and I could get more sleep with less soreness. Only pain when sleeping would be my right-hand side where my tumour is (it swells my liver up also). I avoid that side. We were both happy.

He mentioned that my new chemo drug must be doing something good. It seems to have halted my cancer's progression and the 10cm (4 inches) tumour that is in my liver has stopped growing. My doctor says, it has only been half way through the 6 cycles (chemotherapy treatment every 3 weeks) and recommends to continue. It is too early through this treatment to stop.

Also, my cancer levels, via blood samples, have shown some reducement. Good news!

So he finally said before the 6th cycle of chemo treatment I will get another CT-SCAN to see what is happening. He says if the new chemo drug does do more good, I will get it again for future treatment. If not, he regretfully said, I may have to get a more volatile chemotherapy medicine. So

After speaking to him on my way out of the Cancer Clinic side of the building (heading for the chemo treatment ward) I bumped into my Cancer Specialist. We caught up with my horrible anemia problems and stuff. It was nice to chat.

Next, I went over to the Chemo Ward to see if they could take me earlier. It's usually very busy at noon. I met a nurse, and she fitted me in. They were very busy. Sadly, I had to wait an hour, before anything happened to me. They said, my haemoglobin level had perked up since my last blood sample. So their plan was that I got my chemo today (Thursday), which would be a short chemo treatment. They will then take more blood samples, and then they will phone me at home to see if there is an up or down change in my bloods haemoglobin levels (note: it takes the hospital 2 hours to study blood samples). So I got my chemo treatment and went home, by taxi.
 
The nurse phoned me at home. My haemoglobin levels had risen by one point, which is good but the nurse wanted to make sure and get another blood sample taken by my GP next Tuesday (10th July). Then the hospital will get it, study it to see if it had got better or worse, and that gives them time to set up a blood transfusion next week for me if bad.


Friday 6th July 2018 - today

In the morning, I phoned my GP to book my blood sample taking for the Cancer Centre. The GP said they were full up that day. So I phoned the hospital with my dilemma. The hospital phoned for me, because of the serious nature of this requirement and they got me a slot in the GP's busy timetable. So that was sorted. PHEW! So we shall see what happens next.

Thanks if you read my mumblings and also for your kind words,
Muz
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Tuesday 3rd July 2018

I gave blood at 10:20am today (same every third Tuesday, a few days before my next cycle of chemotherapy treatment on Thursday). It went ok. Because of my recent anemia I felt ancient getting a bus up the road home instead of walking.

12:00 noon I got a phone call from a nurse at the cancer ward asking how I have been coping. I explained my gut/tummy pain (opposite to liver/tumor side) which has been very uncomfortable, especially when I attempt to sleep. I also told her of my anemia creeping back like before.

She phoned back later requesting me to go into the cancer ward in a few hours for a checkup by a ward doctor.

I hired a taxi.

The cancer ward doctor asked questions and looked me over, about the tummy pains I have been having. With her stethoscope she said my gut is functioning normally. Turns out the very sore pain in my guts is a possible plug/build up in my digestive tract (not a nice thing to mention, I know, sorry). I must take laxatives to help it weaken and budge it, and the pain should eventually pass. This is not cancer related, so a huge PHEW!

Also we talked about my 'anemia' and my lack of breath in conversations or activities. I am to take another 2 weeks of steroids (stronger ones this time), at home. Also I will be getting another blood transfusion, which will happen on my chemo day on Thursday.
So Thursday will be a long day.

They also took more blood samples from me.

Before my chemo and blood transfusion on Thursday afternoon, I will also have a meeting at noon with my cancer doctor about the results from last weeks CT-SCAN. Hopefully the scan shows that the new chemotherapy medicine they have had me on is actually doing some damage to my cancer and reduced the tumour in my liver. More

We shall see what happens on Thursday.

Thank you for all your kind words,
Muz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Saturday 16th June 2018

The story so far (ie. catchup)

Hi there,
In April I had an appointment with my cancer doctor to talk about any updates/findings from my recent ct-scan. I was told that my cancer had developed a 12cm (4 inch) tumor in my liver. Scarey, but my current chemotherapy medicine was now fertilizing my cancer, instead of reducing it. Crap!

They now have me on a new chemo drug now. Hopefully to 'reduce' the tumor.

Also... now my facial hair grows back on my face because of the new drug with it's different side-effects.

On the second cycle of my new chemo med regime, I was struck with anemia for weeks.
Not eating much. Lots of naussea. Sleepless nights because of tumor pain. Napping alot through the day. Hayfever (Nose gunk kept blocking my ears) - so my balance was terrible. Body rashes - itchy as feck! My weight had dropped to nearly 12 stone (I was usually nearer 15 stone). My skin was colourless. Looking drained. I started eating health drinks, more fruit, health bars, etc. to boost my energy. Not gone outside for ages, I was just too weak. My neck and arm skin was looking saggy from weightloss.

I felt really suicidal on the first week. I felt so awful!

Thursday: I had my 3rd cycle of the new drug. (a cycle is a chemo treatment that I get every 3rd week - I am taking 6 cycles of this new drug).

Friday: I was given a blood transfusion next day to boost me. Long day. Afterwards my facial skin had changed. I was redder (healthier looking).

Today: I have more pep. Hurrah!  No usual feeble massive long lie-in bed today. I was able to have a shower without puffing out of breath. Then I walked to the store today without pausing to rest. So hopefully this escape from lethargy helps!!


On the 28th of June I get a new ct-scan. Hopefully the new chemo drug has reduced the tumor down.

Now I have to fix my frickin computer!! 
**UPDATE** I think it is now fixed.

Hope you are well! 
Love and Best Wishes,
Murray xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx